i permit you to call me
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
