I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
