Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
