how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
