Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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