that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
