new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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