Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
