I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
