My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
