his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
