There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
