Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize