I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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