Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
