How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
