My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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