Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize