I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
