u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
