Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
