Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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