The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
