he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
