real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
