okay pat passed out under dana's car
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
