Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
