Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
