so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
