White coat. Heels.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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