I love black thongs
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
