I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I had to cum in my sink.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
