At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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