Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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