you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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