Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
