i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
