I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
