fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
