**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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