maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
