Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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