I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
