He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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