I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I've blown a few things in my day
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize