so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
