He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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