Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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