i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
