Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
