dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
