Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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