she was so not down for the gang bang
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
