it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
