I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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