she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
