I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just want nice things and good sex
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
