girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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